This is a simple message, but I hope it might encourage someone. Frankly, I don’t have a lot of wise words to share. I feel tired. Discouraged. Unmotivated. Empty. Part of me hates that INSIGHT will be ending in four weeks, and part of me can’t wait. Part of me doesn’t want to let go of the routine, and part of me would throw it away tomorrow if I could. It’s certainly not that I don’t love the INSIGHTers and/or Minneapolis. That is the VERY FARTHEST thing from the truth! I’ve just been in a dry, apathetic, anxious rut lately, and I don’t like it! The tension is great between being tired of the routine, loving my BCS family, needing to sleep, and wanting to hang out with everyone as much as possible. I still haven’t figured out how to juggle it all. My strength is gone.
…But wait! My strength is not gone.
“…the joy of the Lord is [my] strength.” ~ Nehemiah 8.10
“What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord…” ~ Psalm 116.12-13
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” ~ Psalm 121.1-2
“[The LORD] restores my soul…” ~ Psalm 23.5
“I can do all things THROUGH HIM who strengthens me.” ~ Philippians 4.13
“But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength.” ~ 2 Timothy 4.17
So I can say that my strength is not gone because Jesus Christ is on my side. HE is my strength. HE is my hope. That’s why I have been for the most part joyful and happy over these past few months. It’s not because I am strong in myself, although I have tried to do it myself many times this year. Thank God that I don’t feel like I can do this anymore. That’s just where I need to be. I can honestly praise God for exhausting my strength because it forces me to stop depending on myself to grit my teeth and get through these next four weeks. It’s not gonna happen apart from Him. I need strength, motivation, and joy that only He can give!
Thank You, Father, for reprimanding me in times like this. I need it. Keep me focused, dependent, and joyful in You. Thanks for cutting down all of my “strongholds” so that I am forced to run to You. Don’t let me leave Your side, for these next four weeks and always! Amen.