Thoughts I’m Thinking
It’s important to me to blog about the ideas that I’m wrestling through at specific points in time. Some of you have never grappled with the specific issues that I’m grappling with. That’s totally OK! This is me. Here are some thoughts I’ve thought lately. I haven’t come to any firm resolutions other than that I will trust God who knows what is best. 😛
Why are people so blind? Why is the gospel wisdom to some and folly to others (1 Corinthians 1:18)? Why do people insist that truth is merely what they say it is? I’m tired of living in a culture that trivializes sin, trivializes the God I love and serve, and trivializes my moral standards. I’m tired of living in a culture that is so blind and they can’t even see it. I believe the reality that God is all-powerful. Sometimes I want Him to blast the world with a mega-dose of His Spirit. Sometimes I wonder, why doesn’t He? He could.
I know the answer, deep inside. He blinds people for His glory! That’s a difficult reality to grasp, that God ordains that some will see and some will stay blind. And it’s all from Him and through Him and to Him (Romans 11:36)! He displays His mercy in those who are saved, and His justice in those who are punished. That’s the way it’s always been and always will be. God is merciful and good, and He chooses to save some, though not everyone. I want to pray that I will hope in His mercy and goodness whether I fully comprehend it or not.
That brings me to another thought. Sometimes I wonder why God chooses to use us in evangelism. We’re so imperfect and uneloquent. Why doesn’t He just point at every third person and say, “You’re saved, you’re saved, you’re…” etc.? Sometimes I wish that’s how He works. As it is, “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?” (Rom 10:14). Again, I need to hope and trust. This is all for His glory too (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)! But sometimes it’s a hard reality to grasp.
I know what I need to do in light of these passages. I must go. I must tell this blind and oblivious world that they’re blind and oblivious, but they don’t have to stay in the dark. Not because God needs me, but because He may choose to use my words to bring some to repentance. The problem is, I fear people more than I fear God. I’m paralyzed, wondering what they will think of me, or what they will do to me. What if I stumble? How will I be received when I speak the truth? What if my words push them further away from the truth?
God, I need You to give me a passion for the lost. I need you to break my heart over their fate apart from You. Open my spiritual eyes to see the reality of Your judgment and Your grace more clearly. You are just because You will send disobedient people to everlasting separation from You. I need to fear for the lost, and I need that fear to overcome my fear of man. You are gracious because You have ordained that some will be saved as we speak. I need to be struck by that reality afresh. Cause my love for the gospel to overflow to this d.e.a.d and blind world. Through Christ I pray, Amen.
Pray that these realities would be real to me. Do you have any insight on how I can cultivate a passion for evangelism in my own heart, or how God has done it for you? How can I pray for you? I’d love to hear from you. 🙂